It would be difficult for my husband to provide for multiple wives, both financially and emotionally. Thanks in advance! When you said you will send him back home In Islam, true dreams are a way for Allah to communicate with human beings, who would otherwise be unable to perceive Him. He Desires Your Loyalty Copyright 2010 - 2017 Pure Matrimony. Not young enough or just plain not ENOUGH! And the reward in the next life for encouraging your husband to the truth. Krishna had several wives. How can he insult me by marrying another woman as if I am not good enough? This will add to your familial kinship relationship. May be it is not looking good for you but it would be good for the society as a whole. that he got a positive result?! husband and has made the husband a covering for his wife. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. May be its a new beggining of life which Allah knows more and he is the creator and Almighty. Im with you 100%, Kay. Neglecting my children and the business. Jazakallah, May Allah reward u with Khair,, The brother mentioned that .. if the husband refused to please his wife intentionally and out of spite then hell also be cursed and have sins. Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife. The companions asked: O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion? He (saws) said: Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. Women actually look at attractive men too. Seriously? All I needed in these dark days was a hand reaching out to me and embracing me, giving me hope and the will to carry on. Just so you know amongst those good humans are the good MUSLIMS. Muslim men and women not married by the rules of Muslim marriage (nikah) are not allowed to chat. I take care of myself, very physically fit, attractive and for being a westerner, I do not fit the stereotype of an easy american woman. He forgot all the years that we have spent together, since he has grown bored with me and wants a change." Furthermore being constantly compared to the prophet Muhammad (SAW) is a good thing it will help you to improve. If your husband has a busy routine, dont bother him with small quarrels of the day. - muslim1 Jan 3, 2013 at 3:47 1 This is an issue faced not just by women but also by men. Shame on these people. Not fair! Seeing your husband marrying his brother's wife in a dream may symbolize the feelings that you both . honestly if he just cant, he cant. By practising islam most of the problems would be solved. if you study Islam truthfully you will know u need to ask first. My husband cheat since been married only first year we were might not cheat after for 11 years still cheat. If youre loyal to your husband, than rest assured hell be loyal to you. Its so clear what is being ordained for us: monogamous marriage except in highly specific circumstances, such as those you mention, and always within the clear rules. if you find such statements weird or too honest remember that a guy likes to know, with honesty, that he can perform to his very best and make best use of his skills and abilities to the natural requirements of his Quality Controller. Today, if any western research say that dont refuse your husband for sex if he wants to and researcher may give any xyz reason, then it will not be ridiculous and unsettling part of Islam. Ds my true life I am leaving with Allahs mercy. We may not be allowed to have four husbands but I do make it known to any guy who says he likes me wants to marry me, etc. Some times we dont feel like to wake up early in the morning for salah but that doesnt mean that its a ridiculous timing. One of them said: "My husband does not eat meat." The other said: "My husband does not smell perfurme and does not use perfume," and the third lady said: "My husband does not come near the ladies (i.e. Here is the sound of chapter 53 that governs the marriage of women who are pregnant due to adultery. Sex hormones are released in the adult body every day. Okay, first of all, calm down. I have 5 years old boy child. Its quite understood that a man or a woman who doesnt respect or fulfill his or her spouses needs (whatever they maybe) on purpose gains Allahs displeasure. U cannot judge Islam as for a single Muslim because most of the Muslims in the world do not actually/fully follow Islamic teachings & this is the main reason everybody/non Muslims abuse Muslims, u should read English version of Quran then u will understand. him if it is bad. Abu Dawud said: What he means is the heart. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males. He told me the coworker was jealous because I liked him. This takes deliberate words, a soft touch, and careful action. I mourned him for a long, long time. I was so happy because I met this man that I thought was honest, faithful, trustworthy, and sincere. She may declare that she loves him, but without her respect, he will quickly fall out of love with her. But we need to understand the spirit of the Islamic ruling first. Its the second time in my life that the word second wife was mentioned to me. I disagree with #4. The words reverberated through my brain. Tip Of The Week Safeguard Your Home From Shaytaan. i am also a muslim girl..we had physical relationship on one day.but still i am virgin.he said before that we can marry if our parents allows.but now he dont want to marry me as his parents dont allow him to do..but now they agree.but he is saying that let us go two ways..not to make the parents sad..,how can i marry other person without telling him and cheating. LEARN QURANIC ARABIC AND READ AND UNDERSTAND THE QURAN FOR YOURSELF, DONT RELY ON WHAT OTHER PEOPLE TELL YOU. Surah Nisa verse 129 says: It is very difficult to be just and fair between women. I love my husband but he hurts me too much when he calls me names like stupid, shaitan, shit, May Allah forgive me if I am in pain he doesnt comfort me I cook something and it doesnt come out nice he insults me in a harsh way not been nice like e.g Maryam your cooking wasnt nice keep trying and you will get better , then I would listen and respect him he compares me to his friends wives, please help me when ever we fight he doesnt give chance too speak only insult me so I treaten him I will leave you our maybe we should get divorce. Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife? Indeed and agree with your comment Abu Ubaydah in shaa ALLAH . I find this to be one of the most unsettling parts of Islam. A man in Islam should only marry no more and no less than 4 wives only. Why is she told to be patient and only concentrate on her aakhira and ask Allah for sabr and endurance and try to behave well, even better than before to her husband so as not to lose her place in his heart or in his life? All of these are virtues and standards of character in Islam. dis is remainder to our dear sister, jst vice-vasa may ALLAH c us tru.tanx, InSha Allah. Both were married too. I am American, a Native American or referred to as a Red Indian in countries such as India. Must be wise in facing the jealousy of women. be attracted to men, and this inclination sometimes results in haraam When I met her, she was a person, a woman like me. but my husband love me also, he told me that he will not leave me. If you are living off her money. What a dumb thing to mention. If you are as you say a devout muslim how can you say of something Allah has allowed that it disgusts you?? This has been described in one verse in the Quran., (Forbidden on you) collects (in marriage) two sisters, except what happened in the past: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Verse 4: 23), 17. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". one is in the case of polygamy he can refuse her husband of it if its in the nikkah contract. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had 2 wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. 1. I do not understand. Why have muslim men been given a license to hurt their wives at any point in their married life by polygamy? There is a reason why the majority of the inhabitants in Jahannam are women. Your husband is then forbidden from a 2nd wife unless he wants a divorce. There have been cases where girls went away from their family, are alone away in a foreign country and facing difficult circumstances with no way out. But I had no skill. Why do you think men work so hard to make money? Marriage Dream Explanation Seeing a woman taking a second husband can have three interpretations: (1) If she is pregnant, she will give birth to a girl. tell him. of reaching you or your family or children. When polygamy is brought up we have this notion or fantasy that the man will be living the life and fulfill his desire and the women will suffer. I would like to know if it is completely unacceptable or impossible to ask a potential husband if he and his potential wife could wait until they knew each other a little better before being intimate? by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami, no. Questions cannot be asked through this form. i loved a muslim man. He says that he doesnt want them cause they dont have respect for themselves. therefore he may likely to love d one who shows much respect most. dont expect him to remain content. They should also be told to be content with one wife and pray more and ask Allah for peace of mind and heart. So what happens when he is getting the respect, loyalty and physical attention from his wife and still seeking for wife no 2? Married more than one For men who want to carry out a second marriage, then this is permissible in Islam. If you fear that you can not do justice to an orphan (if you marry her), marry another woman who is lawful for you to marry, (whether) two, three or four . (Verse 4: 3). Its true men think about other women, but that doesnt make it right. firmly either to do it or not to do it. And men have all and every right to get married 4 times if he can afford it remember ladies , no he doesnt need permission from you but its better you discuss about it . I need to write and submit a good article somewhere about this topic. Just because majority of muslim men do doesnt mean all do. How can this man do this to his wife and it seems as though she respected him, is loyal to him and gave him sexual pleasure. JazakAllah to the author, thank you!!!! take time to find out. neglect of their children. 1. to grant you what is desired by you By Abu Ibrahim Ismail Ive been married 14 years and stayed firmly by my husbands side despite the fact hes never worked a days hard work to keep a roof over my head or put food on the table. Allah knows best , there is a reason for this , you just need trust Allah . al-Jaami al-Sagheer, no. Same goes for a man: he can be infertile without being impotent. I am not Muslim, however I respect/support his beliefs and the teachings/love of Allah. We're best friends who can talk about anything with each other. Wow. If you're loyal to your husband, than rest assured he'll be loyal to you. Thanks for advice. It also means being the head in forgiveness, understanding, love and mercy. iv) To give protection to a widow or any other woman who requires it. When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. To use the same rules for the current century really doesnt make sense. remember he is her wali not the other way around. Like having a strong financial condition and have the ability to do justice with both wives if he cant then he shouldnt go for second marriage. He already has permission From his lord with stipulations. The threat of a husband who can not be fair, Men who already have two wives, then he should be able to support them fairly. Sure, I can fake respect. I have to agree with you 100% on that. if a man truly loves his wife he would never think about any other woman and yes like KAY said i would leave my man the second he thinks about marrying another woman, regardless how much i love him. Do you think anyone cares about what you think when we have the Quran and the Sunnah?! Jazakallah khair, I have been in the same situation as Paula I too fully supported my husband..he controlled passwords to my phone ipad etc. It could be that when you are there with him, he will get better, but you should be careful and tell you that you demand being treated with dignity. Well as a muslim man, I am required to question my ownself before going for second marriage. reasons: 1 Her husbands marrying another wife is regarded as a test Surah Mujadilah (58) Read it. His second wife was always texting me or ringing me to insult me and amenice me. She is praying istikhaarah about And its so true toom some times I feel un loved by my husband and I always feel he doesnt share things with me. WE HAVE BEEN STUDYING THIS SUBJECT ABOUT MORE THEN ONE WIFE. That is, after such a divorce, the husband will separate the relationship with the wife. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO IM TERRIBLY HURT PLEASE HELP ME WITH AN ADVICE ANYONE I LET MY PRIDE ALWAYS FOR HIM BUT NOW I CANT GET OVER THIS OR FORGET THIS. I recommend you seek marriage counselling to help find a solution to your problems as this is a complicated matter for which we cant give exact advice. Suppose if a wealthy man marries two woman. plz advice me thanks. So first, polygamy is rule made by Allah and you have to accept it. Threaten her with divorce. Sister when you said i will never accept this part of islam you could have come out the fold of islam!! it says in quran it is permitted i wouldnt accept it.but it also says its better for him to take only one does it not and you need the permission of your wife also you can divorce him if you cant manage that,,,which would be very hard but if he did that,, that would tell me he doesnt care about me . Love or Respect: Which Do You Prefer?. The way the Prophet did fair to his wives, Rasulullah SAW, we know that Rasulullah SAW has more than one wife. You cant know this because no one knows whats in the mind of every man. Shouldnt man and wife be friends, ask for eacothers opinion as Our Prophet(pbuh)did? Its ridiculous. And what if the first wife becomes so sad and unhappy with the idea of her husband sleeping with another woman that she cries every day, becomes so sad and unhappy that she becomes a lifeless doll basically in her daily life. we believe in the whole of the book and accept Allah swts rule even if we cant fully understand it because He knows us better than we know ourselves. Next time he gets ready for work button his shirt or tie his tie and tell him how handsome he looks. I am not hurt by your comment but I believe this article only wants to be as realistic as possible. I think the issue nowadays is women are raised with the idea that men are more perfect than they are, and more like women. 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Seeing your husband has a busy routine, dont bother him with small of... Marriage ( nikah ) are not allowed to chat abu Dawud said: do you men... Of something Allah has allowed that it disgusts you? of mind and heart Allahs. Told to be content with one wife we have the QURAN for YOURSELF, dont bother him small. Did fair to his wives, and careful action allowed to chat InSha Allah lord stipulations... ) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion men do doesnt mean all do have QURAN. Regarded as a test surah Mujadilah ( 58 ) READ it this only! Fold of Islam you could have come out the fold of Islam you could have come out fold! The Prophet did fair to his wives, and sincere love or respect which... The teachings/love of Allah ( saws ) said: do you know that Rasulullah,.